Guest Blogger: Pornclerk Andy

This contribution was sent to me by our brother-in-arms, Andy. He writes: "here is one thing I kind of wrote on a whim after the pervs in my store complain that my job is too easy. I'd love to see it on the blog Thank you"

Andy, here is your long distance dedication.

<3


_________________________________________________________



It was four Am on a Monday/Tuesday graveyard shift in the middle of winter. I was sitting behind the counter reading a book and drinking a red-bull, when some smartass Chris Farley look-a-like with a pension for fat tranny movies though he’d be really hysterical and said “Boy-oh-boy look like your working hard.”

I looked at him in the eye and said “and you’re buying shemale porn at four o’clock in the morning so I guess we’re about square.”

It’s a misconception that Porn clerks are “lazy people”. Any good porn store manager knows who these kinds are and will throw their quarter-page resume in the trash before looking at it. I realize that this isn’t a physically demanding job but you should know that your little fetish of pregnant girl movies is paying my tuition. Unlike previous job’s I’ve had, the porn clerking profession has given me the opportunity to effectively manage my time, specifically for my education so I can be certain that I don’t end up like the majority of the customers who walk into this place. If you’d sit down the only people to have any reason to be in a porn-store are the employees. Your kid’s aren’t going to stave if you don’t by anal-beads and tragically I can’t give you a refund for the cock-pump you broke. If you’re in here you have time, money and your wad to blow.

Whether it’s the customers or in some cases other employees the absolute worst thing your can do is take this place seriously. You’re not going to get the same treatment as do at the Gap. I really don’t give a fuck if you have a satisfactory customer service experience when you’re buying a blow up doll. Don’t get me wrong I make an effort to be a good employee and do what is required of me but that allegiance is to my boss not to the customer. This is because this job is not a standard retail job if it was you perverts would really do what ever you want. This job is more or less babysitting like baby sitting with a cash-register. Babysitting is a lot being a porn clerk. I sometimes get to eat pizza and watch movies but I also have to show people how to use toilet properly and tell them that it’s not polite to bite people. So don’t call me lazy, because I know as well as you do I didn’t have to see anybody’s ballsack working at Miller Paint.